I ache to fly
To escape these confines
And the monotony of all
That is this current
Homogenized reality…
The road is calling me
To distant shores
And mountain tops
Never here to return
I should have been born
With wings…
For my heart cries out
To soar into the horizon
But I am grounded here
In this homogenized reality
(Alyeska Ski Resort … Girdwood, Alaska … June 2009)
I have a little shadow
That goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him
Is more than I can see
****
Heavy sweetness
Balances the burn
As evening brandy
Melts the thin ice
Of day by day
Survival
Sturdy bricks of routine
Embedded in hereditary chaos
This is the only state
My basest being comprehends
Oh, the very real
Warmth of this drink
Swells as long hair falls
From its confines
Along exposed neck
Shoulders… and back
Time is nothing like
This drink which brings
Such ease and pleasure
As neglected flesh
Momentarily remembers
Long forgotten
Sensory ecstasy
Too long
Not long enough
Time is unkind
And unruly
And enviable
Pure I am not
But one thing I know
To this intangible day…
Goodness is at my core
Did anyone dictate
I express clarity
To anyone other than self??
Tonight
This is what there is
He smiles his venom
Bittersweet the taste
He takes as he wishes
Leaving ash in his wake
His kingdom come
His will be done
She mends the pieces
With her raw exposed heart
Tears planting the seeds
Of tomorrow vague and dark
Lost ink on parchment
Scrolls crumble with time
He smiles his venom
Bittersweet the taste
This facade has walls
Of solid mortar and fate
Unable to breath
She slowly suffocates
The Earl of Amour-Propre
Smiles through his venom
Believing his own untruths
So to justify his kingdom
Beware stone walls
Built on crumbling earth
1) Are your parents married or divorced?
What parents? I was grown in a lab.
2) Are you a vegetarian?
Pescetarian. If you don’t know what that is… it’s google time.
3) Do you believe in Heaven?
Depends on one’s definition of ‘heaven’.
4) Have you ever come close to dying?
Somehow death keeps spitting me back out. I must leave an aftertaste.
5) What jewelry do you wear?
A celtic cross on a silver chain.
6) Favorite time of day?
My reading time at night.
7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yes.
8) Do you wear makeup?
Only eyeliner and lip gloss. But not even those every day.
9) Ever have plastic surgery?
Our imperfections keep us human. I think I’ll keep mine.
10) Do you color your hair?
It’s not colored at the moment. Every few years, however, I get an overwhelming urge to be a redhead.
11) What do you wear to bed?
T-shirt and boxer shorts.
12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
Laws of nature? Or laws of man? I have a hard time comprehending the modern day legal system.
13) Can you roll your tongue?
Ayep. Along with numerous other bizarre party tricks.
14)Eye Color?
Usually brown.
15) What kind of sneakers?
I’m pretty much a combat boot and Birkenstock kind of girl. I think I own a pair of New Balance though… which is also the brand I normally buy the girls.
16) Do you believe in Abortions?
Who am I to deny anyone their right?
17) What is your Hair color?
So dark brown that most people think it’s black.
18) Future child’s name?
I have three… and they all have great names. The ex and I were good at that, at least.
19) Do you snore?
Only when my sinuses are icky.
20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Tour the ancient temples of India and China… then onto the Scottish Highlands.
21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No. Normally two pillows and a book.
22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Build a custom solar/water powered bungalow and enough waterfront land to sustain food for myself and the kids. (Stream, lake, river… I don’t care. Just as long as it’s water.)
24) Hamburgers or hot dogs?
I’m vegetarian… remember?
25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Not possible. No way. Forget it.
26) City, beach or country?
Not much of a beach girl… but I like a good mix of city and country.
27) What was the last thing you touched?
I’m on the computer. Typing. Obvious answer.
28) Where did you eat last?
Cooked ginger and lime mahi mahi with veggies… ate here at home.
29)When’s the last time you cried?
It’s been a while. Maybe June or July?
30) Do you read blogs?
Only a very few these days. Somewhere along the way I figured out the more time and energy I put into other peoples’ lives… the less time and energy I have for my own.
31) Have you ever dressed like the opposite sex?
Specifically? No. But I buy both men’s and women’s clothing. Just because something is hanging in the men’s section of the clothing store does not mean I can’t wear it.
32) Ever been involved with the police?
Yes. (Don’t you love short, answer-less answers?)
33) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
Ivory soap and Mane ‘N Tail shampoo/conditioner
34) Do you talk in your sleep?
I used to. Not sure if I still do or not.
35) Ocean or pool?
I just love water in general. I think I was born part fish.
36) What’s your favourite song at the moment?
‘If I could make days last forever… If words could make wishes come true… I’d save every day like a treasure and then again, I would spend them with you.’ … (Time In a Bottle)
38) Window seat or aisle?
Window. I have an inherent need to watch every moment and scene as life passes by. Up close and personal.
39) Ever met anyone famous?
Yes. But I’m generally not impressed by ‘fame’.
40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
I’ve ‘been there and done that’. A lot. For the age of 36 anyway. My ideas of personal success, however, have changed drastically in the past few years.
41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl. I like it a little messy.
42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Dunno. I never watch talk shows. For that matter… I don’t watch TV at all. haven’t since 1995.
43) Basketball or Football?
I don’t get the question. I’m a sci-fi / computer geek.
44) How long do your showers last?
Normally 10 minutes or so.
45) Automatic or do you drive a stick?
I own both, but typically drive the 5 speed.
46) Cake or ice cream?
Ice cream.
47) Are you self-conscious?
On occasion. But as stated above… I’m pretty ok with my imperfections. Too many experiences along the way have proved that those who love me… imperfections and all… are real, true and wonderful.
48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
Erf.
50) Have you been in love?
As high as the mountains and deep as the sea.
51) Where do you wish you were?
Some things I won’t share. Some things are for me and only me.
52) Are you wearing socks?
Yes. It’s cold out… which means it’s boot weather. Leather boots and bare feet are a reeeaally bad combination.
55) Last gift you received?
Starbucks gift certificate.
56) Last sport you played?
Is a Dr Who or Twilight Zone marathon considered a sport??
57) Things you spend a lot of money on?
Rent and groceries. But beyond necessity… coffee and wine. Mmmm… and sushi when I feel like spoiling myself.
58) Where do you live?
Knoxville, TN
59) Where were you born?
Knoxville, TN. But I boomeranged. A couple of times.
60) Last wedding attended?
Angie and Patrick’s
61) Favourite fast food restaurant?
Isn’t that like asking which vein I would prefer having cholesterol injected directly into?
63) Most hated foods?
Pickled baby octopus. *gag*
64) What are your least favourite chores?
Dishes. I leave that chore to the girls normally. I guess I’ll just have to stock up on paper cups and paper plates once the kids are grown. Lol.
65) Can you sing?
A touch of rough, natural talent. I love the heck out of doing it though.
Ring around the rosy
Pocket full of posies
I sit atop this
Merry-go-round
Spinning slowly
As this time
I watch with
Complete neutrality
I will not beg
I will not wait
For the inertia of
This schoolyard ride
Will stop its rotation
Soon… so soon
Oh, it may appear
I play with fire
But in truth…
I prepare for closure
Ashes
Ashes
We all
Fall down
My life is a
Stained glass
Window
So many
Broken pieces
So many years
To reconstruct
A kaleidoscope
Of shapes and colors
Reshaped with every
Twist and turn of life
Each new
Broken piece
Becomes
Yet another prism
Through which
The light can
Shine through
Tears
Smiles
Love
Childbirth
Death
And my own
Personal rebirths
It’s all there
My life
Framed
In mortar
And wrought iron
For the world to see
Forever working
On a masterpiece
Intoxicating caresses
Grasping of hair
Flesh
Raw lust
Entirety of two
Entangled
Sheets
Pillows
Disheveled
Living, breathing art
Frenzied hunger
Building
Crescendoing
Leaving want
For more and more
Never satiated
Yet fulfilled
Piercing eyes
Gazing into my own
As if seeing something
Even I myself
Have never seen
Words can be nothing
But inadequate
But our bodies
Speak fluently
Pure eloquence
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